There are a couple of evolutionary and psychological reasons why you might crave relevance:
Social Connection: Humans are social creatures. Our ancestors relied on groups for survival and reproduction. Feeling relevant to your group meant being seen as valuable and having a role to play. This connection to others is still important to us today, and feeling irrelevant can trigger feelings of isolation or loneliness.
Self-Worth: Relevance can be tied to feeling like you matter and your contributions are valued. This can come from achievements, recognition from others, or simply feeling like your thoughts and ideas are heard. When you feel relevant, it can boost your self-esteem and sense of purpose.
Here are some additional thoughts:
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- The Source of Relevance: The need for relevance can be fulfilled in different ways. It can come from close relationships, professional achievements, or creative pursuits. Finding what gives you a sense of purpose and contribution can be a key to feeling relevant.
- Comparison Trap: Social media can make it easy to compare yourself to others and feel irrelevant in comparison. It’s important to remember that these online portrayals are often curated and don’t reflect the whole picture. Focus on your journey and what makes you feel valued.
- Internal vs. External: Ultimately, true fulfillment comes from a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. While recognition from others can feel good, it shouldn’t be the sole source of your feeling of relevance.
If the need for relevance is causing you anxiety or affecting your well-being, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore the root of this feeling and develop healthy ways to find meaning and purpose in your life.
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